Product Of The Seventies

No Caption Required

2011-11-05T17:37:00.004-05:00

Smoking

2011-11-02T20:15:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks have been difficult. The stress from work, combined with a new med I'm trying to get used to, have pushed me over the edge.

I wrote earlier about the med, it's Gabapentin, and it works on the central nervous system. My pdoc told me to take it at night, thinking it might help me get a better night sleep. But I've been waking up terribly impaired. Driving to work felt like I was driving after 8 beers. I'm lucky not to have clipped someone. So after a couple weeks, last night I stopped the nighttime gaba. I only got 3.5 hours sleep, but felt great this morning. No more gaba at night.

But - last week I bought a pack of cigarettes. My first since 1989. I was climbing walls, and caved to the crave. Since quitting, I've missed cigarettes non-stop. I lit that first smoke last week and it was heaven. Since then I've smoked 3 or 4 a day, and loved every single puff of every one. My hands have been shaking because of my psych meds, but after a cigarette I'm steady as a rock. There's a reason for the high number of smokers among people with mental health issues, it's powerful medicine. I hope this doesn't become a habit, but I sure love it right now.

Halloween

2011-10-31T00:46:00.000-05:00

Halloween - the greatest kid holiday ever. Remember waiting all season for this?

The Christian Left

2011-10-30T02:49:00.001-05:00

There's a Facebook page called "The Christian Left". When I discovered it, I was excited. Finally, something I could embrace. In the seventies I tried hard to turn my back on my religion. But it didn't last when my wife came along, she was a devout, accepting, caring Christian, and while she didn't get me to church every week, she got my head moving in the right direction.

In the nineties I got moving even more into Christianity, as I was moving far to the right politically. But there were things I just couldn't give up. I loved my NPR, much to the chagrin of other conservatives. And while I was pro-life, I couldn't bring myself to say there wasn't a time and place where abortions were appropriate. And I felt it hypocritical to be pro-life, yet support the death penalty. I mean, come on! What are people thinking? But I still didn't quite have a handle on acceptance, and true compassion. One small thing really changed me. I was used to people trying to take advantage of me as a store owner - stealing, asking for discounts, wanting money, etc. One night a young man came into my store, humble, introduced himself, and said he, his wife, and children were heading through town, had some problems, and needed money to get where they were going. They saw my shop, and he told me his parents had a similar shop. He said they were in a bad way, and asked if I could help his family. I turned him away. I told my wife about it, she got tears in her eyes, and asked how I could just turn them away. I got in my truck and drove around looking for them, but they had disappeared into the night. To this day I regret not helping that young family, and I'm tearing up now just thinking about it.

In the early 2000's my late son convinced me to take him to a large Christian music festival, the Cornerstone Festival. This son was an incredible person, he made Christianity cool. I learned by example from him, and he also helped shape my faith. I don't claim to be a good Christian at all, but if I can be a fraction of what Ryan was in that regard, I'd be there.

Back to the original topic, the Christian Left facebook page would be great, but it's not any different from the Christian right. There is little constructive, little motivational, and little faith being shared. It's mainly a place for like minds to hang out and feel superior. They are not tolerant, and will delete someone if they catch a whiff of dissent. It's time I stir the pot a little, and get myself banned. I'm an old hippie at heart.

Going back to the Cornerstone Music Festival my late son introduced us to, I heard a band there in maybe 2003 that blew me away. The greatest live band I've ever seen. Even today, after seeing them half dozen times, they still blow me away. If you EVER have a chance, experience this band. There's a long intro on this video, so don't bail. In honor of my efforts to continue moving in the right direction...

Sons of Guns

2011-10-28T01:03:00.001-05:00

Isn't it interesting how you may THINK you understand someone, but you really don't, and never will.

Before I got all soft and liberal, I was as far right as I am left now. I owned a sporting goods store, selling fishing tackle, archery gear, and guns. I carried a gun every day I was in that store. I used to be a serious hunter, with rifle, shotgun, handgun, and archery equipment. So it can't be a surprise that, even though I'm very liberal, I hold to a few of my old values.

I LOVE these gun-shop shows that are on. Sons Of Guns, and American Guns. I know what they're talking about, I know what they'e selling, I know what they're making, and I know why.

Now this has been a long intro to the theme song of Sons of Guns - Tab Benoit's cover of "Shelter Me Lord". He also does much of the music in the individual shows. The show is set in Louisiana, and surprise! Tab Benoit is from Louisiana. He's also one of my favorite blues artists, maybe one of my favorite artists working today. Listen to the tone he gets out of that old Fender.

Med Update

2011-10-25T22:19:00.000-05:00

This is such an old person thing - to talk about your meds. But I've been blogging for many years, and I know from experience how many people are out there looking for answers on mental health. I don't have the answers, but maybe we can share experiences.

I went to the pDoc today, and talked about a higher dosage of Gabapentin (Neurontin). We talked a little about it on my last few visits. This medication started as kind of an "aha" moment. All my life I've had nervous tics - blinking, facial movements, neck stretching, Rodney Dangerfield-like movements, even at times voice things, like softly whispering what was said by someone else under my breath. I knew it was Tourettes, but when I bring it up pdoc by now is thinking I'm making a mountain out of everything. I saw an ad for Horizant, used for restless leg syndrome, and I knew I needed that. All day long my legs are going a hundred miles an hour. It drives my coworkers crazy, their monitors are shaking all day. Pdoc gave me samples of Horizant, and after a month I was disappointed. It helped a little, but didn't do much. I couldn't try another month, my insurance turned it down. They pointed me towards "non-formulary" products, one being Gabapentin. I was corresponding with another person online with Tourettes, and when I heard her main med was Gabapentin, the light came on. I might be only a few steps away from relief. First month was a disappointment, but dosage was raised today, so we'll see how the next few weeks go.

If you don't know about Tourettes syndrome, it's characterized by involuntary muscle movements or tics. It can also be involuntary speech. In pop culture, you may have noticed American Idol's James Durbin's facial expressions, he has Tourettes syndrome.

Let's go out on a lighter note, we have a seventies theme, we need some hippie humor:

Why are there so many hippies in Oregon?
Because there are no jobs!

(Rimshot!) Thank you! I'll be here all week!

I Drink

2011-10-25T03:11:00.001-05:00

One song for a late night when I can't sleep. Listen - it's a powerful song in a laid-back package. Enjoy.

Mary Gauthier (Go-SHAY ya'll)

Retro Photo Shoot

2011-10-25T01:03:00.000-05:00

From a photographer in Iceland, a very sexy series. All done in a seventies theme, and it's really pretty accurate. I enjoyed it very much. Hopefully the photographer doesn't mind if I post one of the pics. Click through to her site to see the other pictures. It's worth it.

The Dude

2011-10-23T23:38:00.000-05:00

Another movie clip, from one of the greatest movies of all time. The Dude, a true product of the seventies, who hasn't changed at all since the seventies. The Dude embodies all that we can be, all that we ever wanted out of life. We all think we could be The Dude, but we can't. None of us. The Dude is unattainable perfection. He's what keeps us reaching for the stars.

Boogie Nights

2011-10-22T00:41:00.001-05:00

Stumbled on the movie Boogie Nights while surfing tonight. This movie is cool. About 70s porn star Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg), who works for porn director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). If nothing else, it's worth checking out just for the disco soundtrack. Brilliantly put together.

Can You Dig It?

2011-10-21T13:00:00.000-05:00

I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, they can dig it, you can dig it
Oh let's dig it
Can you dig it, baby

Harold and Maude

2011-10-20T23:12:00.001-05:00

My college showed movies in an auditorium every Friday night. It didn't matter what was playing, for a dollar my girlfriend (now wife) and I could see a movie. Some were good, some not so good. But it was only a buck, and we were together.

One night they played this movie. Neither of us had heard of it, and when this scene played to open the movie, we were aghast. We did not know how to take the movie. It took a few viewings before we "got it". And even today, I'm not sure what we "got", but the movie still holds a very warm spot in my heart. And the soundtrack was one of the most perfect movie soundtracks ever.

Ohio Democratic lawmaker is proposing to drug-test elected officials

2011-10-20T02:01:00.001-05:00

Ohio Democratic lawmaker is proposing to drug-test elected officials

The subject of drug testing people receiving public assistance really irks me. Here's a lawmaker turning the tables on his peers.

Rep. Robert Hagan's bill would require statewide officeholders, legislators, members of Gov. John Kasich's (KAY'-sik) jobs board and recipients of federal bailout money to pay for their testing for un-prescribed pharmaceuticals, illegal drugs and alcohol. Officials testing positive would have to undergo treatment or be booted from office.

You gotta love it. And I'll go a step further. Since drug use is very often a symptom of mental illness, why not screen the same officials for mental illness. Then require treatment, which of course would include psych meds. I think weed is probably the most used mood stabilizer by those with mental illness, so let's make sure the officials and lawmakers have their legal stabilizers if they screen positive for mental illness .

High Heels Returning

2011-10-19T23:02:00.000-05:00

The seventies brought high heel platform shoes for men. Similar to the first pic, I had some, and loved wearing them. They were really pretty easy to dance in. Normally I wore my Puma Clydes, but there were times only the platforms would do. I didn't wear them with jeans, that was for boots or Pumas. But with slacks, leisure suits, or even my Johnny Carson suits, they were great.

Now when they're talking about high heels, they're often talking a different animal. Can you imagine coming out with these in the seventies? They'd think you were actually coming out. Now I've embraced diversity today, but I still wince at the thought of seeing someone walking around in those.

Jonathan King, Gary Glitter

2011-10-18T21:38:00.002-05:00

I really don't remember any of this.

BBC chief's apology to paedophile Jonathan King for writing him out of pop history

Remember Jonathan King? "It Only Takes A Minute"?

Now 66, King was convicted in 2001 of sexual assault on five teenage boys in the 1980s. He was given a seven-year jail sentence and was released on parole in 2005.

And not only Jonathan King, but remember Gary Glitter? Rock and Roll (Part 2).

He was shamed in September 2001 when he received a seven-year sentence for six offences against five boys aged 14 to 16, committed between 1983 and 1989.

There have been other charges against Gary Glitter also.

I don't recall hearing about things like this back then. Probably because people didn't pay attention, or mind. It wasn't always the "good old days".

People With Mental Health Issues More Likely to Be Uninsured

2011-10-18T20:58:00.001-05:00

I wonder how much this study cost. How much actual effort did it take to prove this?

People With Mental Health Issues More Likely to Be Uninsured

What's it take to be insured? For most, a job. What's it take to get and hold a job? For most, a lack of mental health issues.

Tired

2011-10-18T06:10:00.001-05:00

To the gym, then a long day at work - all on three and a half hours of sleep. I like to get at least 4 hours. I'm going to try and do this without doubling up on my ADD medication.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Shock Treatment

2011-10-17T21:23:00.003-05:00

Don't ask.

Middle Aged Mental Illness

2011-10-16T02:56:00.000-05:00

Have you ever paid attention to the ages of employees in almost any retail store? Where are all the 50 year-old plus people? With one exception, they just aren't there. The exception, of course, is WalMart. But that's a topic for another time.

Where are the middle aged people with mental illness? You don't hear about them like you do young people - it seems like it's always young people we read about after a mania landed them in the hospital or in custody. I would suspect society has flushed out middle aged sufferers. They learn how to hold a job and quietly fit into society. Or they're institutionalized - I recently read about an explosion of people with mental illness residing in nursing homes with elderly residents. Or they're homeless, or in jail, or dead.

Depending on the study you want to believe, up to 25% of those with bipolar disorder will suicide. I assumed the majority of those were student age, up to young adult. I just read an article that amazed me - the largest number of suicides among people suffering from a mood or other mental disorder is middle aged women.
Suicide spikes among middle-aged women

Amazing, but sad.

Widespread Panic

2011-10-15T23:51:00.004-05:00

"Tree huggin’, love makin’, pro choicen, gay weddin’, Widespread Panic diggin’ hippies like me..."
Todd Snider - "Conservative Christian Right Wing Republican Straight White American Male"

Widespread Panic was on Austin City Limits tonight, a new performance. I haven't listened to them much in the last few years, and I was missing out. Even better was the audience, they were really into it. I've never experienced a Widespread Panic show, I'll have to make it a point to attend a show sometime. I'm not sure my middle age system can handle the prerequisite drugs, but I guess I'll find out.

Not Normal

2011-10-15T02:58:00.003-05:00

All day long I keep a running commentary going in my head. It's nothing I can conrol, it's right there above the music that's always playing in my head. If I put on headphones of music or abient sound, I can knock out the music in my head, but my internal monolog continues. Here's an example of a very typical, one-sided dialog that may have happened at work.

"OK, now we're going to run a compare between these 2 files. Let's grab the first file, now bring in the second, damn! Look at all the differences. Oh! I love this song! I want to share this, my coworker would love these guys. Let's jump out to YouTube to see if I can find a video to share by this band. (Watching part of the video) nice - what else do they have out here? I wonder if they're going to be coming to town in the near future. Let's check their website. Nothing shown on their site. Maybe there's dates close, and I can talk a local promoter to bringing them to town. Speaking of that, I wonder if this other band will be coming to town, I'll check their website. I haven't checked my email in a while, better do that since I'm on the internet already. I'm hungry, what do I have stashed in my desk - or is it close enough to lunchtime? Pretty close! I'd better head to the restroom before lunch..."

It's pretty obvious there's some ADD going on here. I started on Ritalin about 6 months ago, and it helps, but doesn't entirely take away my lack of focus. As far as talking to myself, everything written above is actually being spoken in my head. Spoken in my own voice, which is a good thing - at least I'm not hearing voices. I know many, and maybe most people talk to themselves. But this seems to go to the extreme - like everything else in my life. I suspect it's partly due to my Tourettes, and mostly due to my bad wiring. More on both in another post.

Work Goals

2011-10-15T00:36:00.003-05:00

My son shared these, this was done after a motivational / leadership retreat at the national headquarters of the company he worked for at the time. He said within 6 months he'd accomplished both. I'm thinking that accomplishing the first would pretty much guarantee the second.

Robbie Fulks Show

2011-10-14T00:19:00.002-05:00

Saw Robbie Fulks tonight with a son. Had a great time. Robbie's an incredible musician, very intelligent, hilarious, and a very nice guy. I had a chance to talk with him for a while before the show, he was friendly and gracious, and we both had a few laughs.

Here he is doing a song from a show 3 years ago, one of my favorite songs of his - It Takes A Long Time To Get Old. I requested it tonight, he said he hadn't played it for several years, then jumped into it and proceeded to blow the audience away.

Here is a pic of my son and I with Robbie after the show.

A very memorable night.

Ex Weezer Bassist Found Dead

2011-10-11T00:59:00.001-05:00

Ex Weezer Bassist Found Dead

I just saw this, it happened yesterday, so I may be a little late to this story.

My late son introduced me to Weezer. At the time he listened mainly to hard core music, but he had incredible musical taste. One of his favorite bands was Sublime, and after hearing them through him, they're one of my favorites now. But back to Weezer, it's hard to express a lot of admiration for a band with a hit called "Hash Pipe", when you have teenage boys. But it all worked out, I found another band I liked, and he stayed strong through most of those years.

But check out the article, how difficult would that be, having to leave a mega-band and earn a living painting. I assume when they say painting, they don't mean like an artist. I can only guess on the underlying problems, but it doesn't really matter now. Sad.

Today's Mental Health

2011-10-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

Our family has a lot of experience with mental health issues. Bipolar disorder, or more specifically, behaviors that are the symptom of the disorder, killed a son 3 years ago. My bipolar disorder has the family guessing what I'm going to be from one hour to the next. My late son's girlfriend came over today to wish my youngest daughter happy birthday. She told us of her plans to become a mental health nurse. Since Ryan died it has taken her 3 years so far to get her life moving in a positive direction, and hearing her say that brought tears to my eyes. Because I know, more than anyone else, she gets it. Gets what?

Mental illness is not curable.

Situational issues probably can be cured, for example, I think PTSD might go away over time. But those born with Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, or other mood or brain disorders are going to have those disorders forever.

She understands that modern psychiatric medicine is, at best, like throwing darts. And the best you can expect from a medication is that it will make life more pleasant for those around the sufferer, and help them fit into a society that doesn't really want to understand. And of course, with luck, it will keep them alive. But that medication exacts a significant toll, more on that another time.

The world will be a better place when there are more mental health workers that understand mental health treatment should be based on compassion, and helping to preserve and cultivate the gifts that are often the result of a mental illness.

For What It's Worth...

2011-10-07T18:29:00.000-05:00

I've popped up again. In my seventies-esque ADD mindset, I've picked this up and dropped it many times. I have every intention of keeping with it this time.

Weather Alert

2011-02-06T00:30:00.001-06:00

In the Heartland, light rain, temp 33 degrees. I'm REALLY glad I don't have anywhere to go. Sleep in, watch The Sopranos tomorrow morning on A&E, play some guitar, watch some more TV, then watch the Super Bowl. The wife made a big batch of pulled pork, and I have plenty of beer and soda.

Steven Tyler on Idol

2011-01-29T22:36:00.001-06:00

Watching Idol the other day, my 12 year-old daughter did not know Steven Tyler or Aerosmith. I played her a few songs - Dream On, Sweet Emotion, Walk This Way - nothing. I'm going to post some Aerosmith on Tuesday's "Music Video Tuesday" on Facebook. At least she'll understand things a little more.

Cowboy Kia

2011-01-29T22:20:00.002-06:00

I saw someone the other day driving a Kia and wearing a true 10 gallon hat. Not just a cowboy (or as they say here ca-BOY) hat, a true 10 gallon hat. You know times are tough when both the horse AND the F-350 are garaged in favor of a Kia.

New Med Update

2010-08-14T21:18:00.002-05:00

An update on my last post.

Went to the pDoc, and asked him about the ADHD medication Vyvanse. He furrowed his brow, and I explained how I was having trouble concentrating, how at work I never stayed focused on a task, and how that's been the case all my life. I told him I was taking Ephedra, how it helped me stay focused, and how it sometimes, paradoxically, calmed me down. He didn't like that at all. He asked me if I took stimulants in college. Well, duh? Of course I did. Lots. And they helped me study. They helped me stay awake in class, helped me drive home drunk, play better intramural football, and march straighter lines in marching band. Of course, I didn't tell him all this, but I did tell him it helped me study. And it did.

He wrote me the script, a very low dosage. He also raised my Lithium dosage and requested a blood test, but that's a different story. I took it to the pharmacy, and they told me the insurance company would not pay for my lithium increase as it was mid-month. Big deal, Lithium is $4.00 whether or not insurance pays for it. The pharmacy doesn't like that, they can't bill the insurance company for any of it in that situation. But I digress. Because I had the coupon for the free month, they filled the Vyvanse right away. But they said I'd need to pursue pre-approval before my next batch. They also said there are no refills, and I had to bring a paper script to them every month. Ridiculous. But worth it.

Even though it was a very low dose, this stuff is amazing. Enough to keep me awake at work. Hasn't yet had a significant impact on my concentration, but I think it could. I need to give it some time. But I'm going to do what I can to keep it coming.

Damn. Does this sound like a 50 plus man? It sounds like an 18 year old kid. That's OK, I'm really an 18 year-old trapped in an over-weight 51 year-old body.

New Med?

2010-08-09T17:47:00.001-05:00

Heading to the P-doc tomorrow, I'm going to ask for the ADD medication Vyvanse. It's being marketed for adults, and they've even sent me a coupon for a free month's supply. I just have to get the doc to sign off on it. I have very little doubt that I have some ADD (along with OCD, and several other initials), I'm actually sure of it. But it's never been diagnosed. I'll try to make a case for it, but I doubt the doc is going to prescribe a stimulant to a manic-leaning bipolar.

Music For Product Of The Seventies

2010-08-08T19:29:00.001-05:00

Think good music disappeared with Skynrd? Are seventies revival acts the only concerts you see anymore? With this feature I'll try to spotlight current music guaranteed to be enjoyed by us Products of the Seventies.

Put on your headphones, maybe torch a bowl if your life still allows that, and give this one some concentration. On the surface, good straight-ahead southern rock, maybe with a pinch of twang. It takes some active listening to understand the lyrics, but it's worth it. They're incredible. Trailer park tragedy, southern culture, and deep, searching, introspection rolled up into each album. Some of the songs are laugh-out-loud funny, others are too painful for me to hear. This band gets my highest praise and recommendation.

I Didn't Sign Up For This

2010-08-07T16:00:00.001-05:00

When I agreed to get older, this is something I didn't sign on for. I had no idea getting older meant that hair in my ears would be growing faster than the hair on my chin. Then when I try to shave it, I end up cutting my ear. I wonder how much permanent removal costs.

Site Redesign

2010-08-05T18:34:00.001-05:00

I'm in the process of working out a redesign. The theme of the site now is good, but doesn't have all the functionality I need. Watch for the new look coming soon!

Bipolar Hope?

2010-08-02T19:41:00.001-05:00

I was reading the blog I wrote chronicling the raising of my late son, who suffered from Bipolar Disorder. I started the blog in 2003 when my son was 19, and just graduated from high school. I maintained the blog until he died in 2008. But I read the early entries, and was reminded of the hope we had that each med would be his saving grace. Every parent goes through this, hoping that the med their child is on will ease their pain, and help them move towards normalcy. Usually, it doesn't work. It's all so futile, the doctors don't know what or how to prescribe, it's kind of like throwing a dart. And the meds often screw people up worse than the disorder. For anyone in this scenario I'd like to offer hope, but I really can't. It's working for me, I'm a great success in some ways, but a basket case in others. Day to day. Taking it day to day.

Memory Fading

2010-08-02T01:31:00.001-05:00

It wasn't that long ago I was blogging every day. Weighty topics, sometimes multiple times a day. On top of a personal blog I was blogging for a major online health website. But lately, it seems my memory won't allow it. I get an idea I'd like to cover, think out the angles, and completely lose it 15 minutes later. This isn't uncommon, I've had to write down ideas all my life. But now I'm talking literally minutes. Before I have a chance to write it down. I don't know if it's age, psych meds, or that I'm a product of the seventies. Hopefully it's not early onset Alzheimers. But I don't know how long I'll be able to work at the level I am now. Hopefully we can pay down some debt and refinance the house before I find myself in that boat.

It's a nerve-wracking scenario, and it scares me. But then I forget to be nervous...

Bucket List

2010-07-28T06:57:00.002-05:00

A friend and I were talking about "Bucket Lists" the other day. It got me thinking, I've done a lot of things, in fact, most of what I wanted to do in life. This being said, there's still some things I'd like to do. Going forward, this will be a regular feature.

Bucket List entry 1:

I want to drop acid. Even though I was a BIG partier, I've never dropped acid. The first item in the bucket list.

Phone Technology

2010-07-26T20:13:00.001-05:00

I got an iPhone not long ago, and it's incredible. I'm a technology guy, but this exceeded all expectations. The processing power of this phone probably exceeded mainframes back in the seventies.

The Right Hand Doesn't Know What The Left Is Doing

2010-07-23T08:23:00.001-05:00

A pair of articles from Psych Central:

July 22, 2010:
Alcohol May Be OK With Bipolar

July 23, 2010:
Higher Risk of Suicide in Bipolar Patients Who Abuse Alcohol

I know research changes quickly, but c'mon - the same publication, 1 day apart?

Featured Video: Disco Apache

2010-07-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

Could there be a greater video ever made? Seriously. From 1977 (I believe).

Can you hear the musicians / dancers telling to their kids about this? And how mortified those kids would be to see this video?

Featured Video: Nesbitts Orange Soda Pop

2010-07-22T02:28:00.000-05:00

Remember Nesbitts Soda Pop? We almost never got soda when I was a kid, and when we did, we never wanted cola. We wanted Nesbitts, but usually got Shasta. At the time I was a kid, Nesbitts was known for it's orange soda, but also had strawberry which kicked ass, but I rarely saw it.

From French Vogue

2010-07-20T20:25:00.002-05:00

From Salon.com, Lea T, the first high-fashion transgender model.

Per Salon:

When Givenchy's head designer cast his personal assistant, Lea T., in a print ad for the brand, it sparked a frenzy of interest. Calls for interviews and modeling gigs began pouring in. Now, French Vogue, the hipper sister of American Vogue, is running a profile of the Brazilian model alongside a nude portrait in its upcoming issue. But this isn't your typical tale about the feverish discovery of a new face in high-fashion -- because Lea just happens to be a transsexual.

Of course, that makes the nude all the more provocative. Her gaze is calm and direct, and the casual placement of her hand clearly reveals that she hasn't had gender reassignment surgery. Unlike in the buzzed-about Givenchy ad, she doesn't wear ostentatious makeup or strike any of the dramatic poses that usually mark high fashion editorials. She is simply, arrestingly bare. With her long hair draped over her shoulders, Lea looks straight out of the Garden of Eden -- and that is perhaps what's most subversive about the photo: its ability to make us re-conceive of what we think of as "natural."

I now state the following with a staunch, unblemished record of heterosexuality. Everyone grunt your agreement. But that's strangely hot.

There Is A Season, Turn, Turn, Turn...

2010-07-20T19:11:00.001-05:00

There seem to be a lot of people whose moods are impacted by seasonal changes. Most are impacted by the shorter days of winter, and of those impacted, most get depressed. I'm different, I'm impacted in the late summer into fall, and mine isn't only depression.

For several years I would go to our family physician and get an anti-depressant this time of year. I wasn't as self-aware, and was recognizing my symptoms only as depression. Today I recognize there's as much mania as depression, often cycling several times a day. But I would end up discontinuing it every year in a full-blown mania. At the time I thought it was evil medication causing the mania, and it was, but because of the bipolar disorder. If it was unipolar depression I'd have most likely been OK.

This year I'm worried, it's approaching the 2nd anniversary of my son Ryan's death, and the potential for something I can't handle is a real danger. Frankly, I don't remember last year, it was a blur of grief and mood swings. I'm still grieving, the signs are there. I may always be grieving, I don't think I'll ever make it through all the stages.

I'm holding on tight, it may be a hell of a ride.

Compassionate Liberal Christian?

2010-07-20T13:05:00.001-05:00

Is is possible to be a liberal, compassionate, left-of-center Christian? Conservatives think they have the corner on religion, but I'll bet there are more like me out there.

Csonka, Kiick, and the Sports Illustrated Cover

2010-07-19T17:20:00.001-05:00

Remember this one? Larry Csonka and Jim Kiick, also known as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid were running backs for the Miami Dolphins in the early seventies. They had a reputation for being a little wild. They were both featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated, with Csonka flipping off the world. You would think with their reputation they would have been watching for this. Maybe they were - this sold a lot of magazines.
(If you're not seeing the picture, click through to the original post.)

Spring Wind

2010-07-18T03:44:00.001-05:00

Singer Songwriter Greg Brown writes a beautiful song. Here are a couple verses from one of my favorites:

I lived awhile without you, darn near half my life.
I no longer see our unborn children, born to you my unwed wife.
But yesterday I had a vision, beneath the tree where we once talked,
of an old couple burning their love letters so their children won't be shocked.

Love calls like the wild birds-- it's another day.
A Spring wind blew my list of things to do...away.

My friends are gettin older, so I guess I must be too.
Without their loving kindness, I don't know what I'd do.
Oh the wine bottle's half empty-- the money's all spent.
And we're a cross between our parents and hippies in a tent.

Love calls like the wild birds-- it's another day.
A Spring wind blew my list of things to do...away.

-- Greg Brown "Spring Wind"

Smoking

2010-07-17T20:25:00.001-05:00

If I were diagnosed today with a terminal illness the first thing I'd do is buy a pack of cigarettes. I gave them up in 1989 and I still miss them today. In fact, the next time I see the doc I'm going to ask him at what age would cigarettes pose an insignificant on my remaining years. There has to be a time when the risk is negligible on what's left of my lifespan.

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Done It All

2010-07-17T20:08:00.000-05:00

If I were called to my final judgement today, I'd go without a fight.

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night

2009-12-11T19:57:00.001-06:00

First Blizzard

2009-12-08T15:50:00.000-06:00

A foot of snow and still falling. Winds kicking up to 30 mph and higher tonight and tomorrow. It's going to be interesting over the next 12 to 18 hours.
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Changing

2009-12-06T09:48:00.000-06:00

From this point forward, this blog changes. I've been trying too hard to entertain, and forgot why I do this - as a therapeutic journal, and to force myself to write. So I'll be writing on stuff I like, stuff I'm feeling, and stuff on my mind.

The Hidden Business Cost of Mental Illness

2009-12-05T20:14:00.000-06:00

The Hidden Business Cost of Mental Illness - BusinessWeek.

Here's an excellent article on the impact of mental health issues in the workplace.

It's hard to focus on your work when your child is hallucinating.

I've experienced this so many times - "please come home, he's very manic and throwing things around..."

This stigma extends beyond those directly stricken to family members. Parents of children with mental illness are often viewed as guilty by association, unfairly perceived as the cause of the illness—the source of harmful child-rearing practices—when the origin is mainly biological. Parents and other family members feel shame and a sense of failure.

Nobody knows this better than my wife and I. Having lost our adult son to issues associated with bipolar disorder, we tried everything, and heard every piece of advice when he was growing up.

This is a very real problem, but I don't see any significant changes being made in attitude or workplace policies.

All-American TV Mom Meredith Baxter Comes Out as a Lesbian

2009-12-03T18:32:00.000-06:00

SheWired.com - All-American TV Mom Meredith Baxter Comes Out as a Lesbian.
For the life of me, I truly don't see why this is newsworthy. I mean, what's the big deal? Is there anyone on earth that doesn't understand that sexual orientation is not a choice? Not that I mind seeing her - the pic brings back memories.
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Bipolar Mania

2009-12-02T17:15:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to feel that, as with everything in life, there is a reason for mania. My hypo-manic mind gets to the point where I can figure out anything. Deep, relevant, important answers to problems. If my wife would let me I could take apart anything, and assemble back in better shape than when it was originally. Most of the time. There's been a few things over the years that doesn't go back together, so she keeps me away from most things. But when my mind moves from hypo-mania to mania, as it does for some of us, it's not a pleasant prospect. The definition of mania is psychosis, or losing the ability to know you're manic. When this happens, sleep suffers radically. I sleep 3 to 4 hours a night, almost entirely dependent on sleeping pills to even begin to put me down.

But the initial point of this post: When manic, sleep goes away. When sleep goes away the mind loses it's ability to process as much. The less active mind is therapeutic for the mania. So once again, a reason for everything.

Obama - Carter Connection

2009-11-29T16:57:00.000-06:00

It's not really time-appropriate for a political post, but I'm moved right now.

Back in the seventies, after Nixon then Ford, the nation was craving sincerity, passion, and compassion. They elected Jimmy Carter. A finer man may never have been born. But, not surprisingly, the man wasn't an effective president. I say "not surprisingly" as I don't think he was given an opportunity to exact the kind of change the country needed. But we'll never know.

Right now the country has an opportunity to bring about social change like we haven't seen in most of our lifetimes. Obama has the vision and courage to strive for those changes. I hope he's not cut off at the knees.

Featured Video: Deadly Bipolar Disorder - Jaco Pastorius

2009-11-28T21:15:00.000-06:00

Jaco Pastorius was probably the most important and talented bass player of that generation, and perhaps since. My point of view is different from most, I lost a son to bipolar disorder, also as a result of bipolar mania. The disorder is more dangerous than anyone can imagine.

On this video he's playing bass guitar with Weather Report in 1978, you can't miss his flamboyancy. Check out the harmonics he's playing. I chose this song, as it's Weather Report's biggest hit, even though it's not Jaco's best song.

From Wikipedia:

In his early career, Jaco avoided both alcohol and drugs, but he became increasingly involved in alcohol and other substance abuses during his time with Weather Report. Bipolar disorder and psychoactive substance abuse disorders have a highly prevalent comorbidity, with a mutually detrimental inter-relationship. Alcohol abuse ultimately exacerbated Jaco's illness, leading to increasingly erratic and sometimes anti-social behavior.

He was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in late 1982 following the Word of Mouth tour of Japan in which his erratic behavior became an increasing source of concern for his band members. Drummer Peter Erskine's father, Dr Fred Erskine, suggested that Jaco was showing signs of the illness and, on his return from the tour, Jaco's wife, Ingrid, had Jaco committed to hospital under the Florida Mental Health Act, where he received the diagnosis and was prescribed lithium to stabilize his moods.

By 1986, Jaco's health had further deteriorated. He had been evicted from his New York apartment and had begun living on the streets. In July 1986, following intervention by his brother Gregory and ex-wife Ingrid, Jaco was admitted to Bellevue Hospital in New York, where he was prescribed Tegretol in preference to Lithium. He moved back to Fort Lauderdale in December of that year, again living on the streets for weeks at a time.

After sneaking onstage at a Carlos Santana concert September 11, 1987, he was ejected from the premises, and he made his way to the Midnight Bottle Club in Wilton Manors, Florida. After reportedly kicking in a glass door after being refused entrance to the club, he was engaged in a violent confrontation with the club bouncer, Luc Havan. Pastorius was hospitalized for multiple facial fractures and damage to his right eye and right arm, and had sustained irreversible brain damage. He fell into a coma and was put on life support.

There were initially encouraging signs that he would come out of his coma and recover, but a massive brain hemorrhage a few days later pointed to brain death. Pastorius died on September 21, 1987, aged 35, at Broward General Medical Center in Fort Lauderdale.

In the wake of Pastorius' death, Havan, a karate expert, was charged with manslaughter but later pled guilty to second degree murder. Because of having no priors and with time served while waiting for the verdict, he was sentenced to 22 months in jail and five years probation. He was released after four months in jail for good behavior. Pastorius was buried at Our Lady Queen of Heaven Cemetery in North Lauderdale.

Jaco, we miss you man. There are SO many ways bipolar disorder can kill you.

Tom Petty

2009-11-27T12:27:00.000-06:00

Not only has Petty survived, he's continued to develop and mature as an artist, not content to merely play his oldiies. From a recent interview by Rolling Stone, here's some highlights:

Tom Petty spoke to Rolling Stone for nearly six hours over two days — including his 59th birthday, October 20th — about his rock & roll life. Those conversations, at the Heartbreakers' rehearsal space in a warehouse in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley and at Petty's home in Malibu overlooking the Pacific Ocean, ran the length of rock itself, including the day in 1961 that the young Gainesville, Florida native met Elvis Presley (Petty forgot to bring a record for the King to sign); Petty's trials and adventures as a long-haired garage-band kid in redneck territory; his rough late-Seventies tours with the Heartbreakers; the musically rich encounters, on stage and in the studio, with Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Carl Perkins and Elvis Costello, among many others; and a sneak preview of Petty's next record with the Heartbreakers.

Remembering The Tragic Who Concert Of 1979

2009-11-27T12:26:00.000-06:00

Remembering the tragic Who concert of 1979.

Who could forget the concert 30 years ago in Cincinatti where 11 people were killed - trampled to death by the surging crowd when the band was doing a soundcheck.

Here's the Wikipedia entry on the incident. A sad day, and it brought changes, some needed, some unwanted, to concerts from there on.

Thanksgiving Thought

2009-11-26T06:07:00.000-06:00

Missing those who aren't with us, happy for those who are, and thankful for all.
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The Craigs List Roadrunner

2009-11-25T20:49:00.000-06:00

Remember when somone on your street had one of these, or something just as spectacular?

From the ad:
Under the hood we put a crate 360 with a 36 month or 36000 mile warranty Edelbrock 600 carb Summit mid rise manifold Flotech headers Header wrap 3 ROW aluminum radiator Zirgo 3600 CFM electric fan 904

Thar she blows!

Featured Video: WKRP Thanksgiving Episode

2009-11-24T16:37:00.000-06:00

From October 30, 1978. One of the funniest sitcom episodes ever. Remember this?

Whatever Happened To...?

2009-11-21T17:12:00.000-06:00

Garage bands?

Every neighborhood had a garage band or two. Every decent party had a band playing. Every prom, homecoming, and dance of any sort had a band playing. Today? A few bands show up on indie labels, but how did they get there? I sure haven't seen a garage band for years.

Classic Rock

2009-11-14T19:48:00.000-06:00

Is classic rock defined by style, or generation? Does is have to be old to be a classic?
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Compulsive Eating

2009-11-08T04:20:00.000-06:00

I'm eating compulsively lately. I don't know if it's the new meds, I added Lithium a few months ago. But it's really getting bad. It's like smoking used to be, I'm powerless to control it. But maybe hope is in sight, I have a schedule starting next week that will get me back to the gym every week day. I'll see if I can make it to MY seventies.
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Sesame Street's 40th Anniversary

2009-11-05T00:17:00.000-06:00

In celebration of Sesame Street's 40th anniversary, Google developed some new logos:

"Relics" of 1979! - The Early Show - CBS News

2009-11-04T23:59:00.000-06:00

"Relics" of 1979! - The Early Show - CBS News.

This is a cool series that recently featured the year 1979. They talk about Daisy Duke jeans, the General Lee remote car, Sergio Valente jeans, and of course, the disco ball. Check it out.

Fall Get-Away

2009-10-26T18:49:00.000-05:00

My mania is settling down into a more manageable hypomania recently. I'm still not out of the woods, I've done some stupid things so far, but it's getting better. I'm sleeping better, more than 3 or 4 hours a night. Concentration is better, work is easier.

I'm going out of town for a few days, away from computers and even mostly out of cell range. To a place where the cattle far outnumber the people, and the sound of geese and coyotes can be heard all night. It will be great to get away for a while. I'll try and make another post or two before then.

Facebook | RetroPlanet.com

2009-10-26T01:03:00.000-05:00

For our Facebook friends:

Facebook | RetroPlanet.com.

Do you Facebook? More on Facebook later...

Featured Video: AMC Ad

2009-10-24T06:27:00.000-05:00

$2998 for a new 1975 "performance" Gremlin. Amazing. "Where's the rest of your car?"

A Ryan Dream

2009-10-24T03:26:00.001-05:00

Ryan is a son we lost a year ago, he was 24. He died of a freak accident in our home. Without a long explanation (yet), his bipolar disorder killed him, as it does so many of the people who have it. I'll write about that regularly going forward.

I had a dream about Ryan last night.

I went to visit him, he was in some sort of group rehab or residential program. The place was in a bad, old, near-downtown neighborhood. I could picture the door of the building perfectly, it was a familiar place. But when I got there, there were 2 scary people walking up the street towards me, and suddenly the doors didn’t look the same, and I wasn’t sure which was the right door.

I walked in the closest door and it took me to an area outside an empty, dark, church sanctuary. To my right I could see a room full of people, all concentrating on something at the front of the room that I couldn’t see. I saw Ryan sitting in there, just his profile from the shoulders up. A man walked up to me and asked if he could help me. I told him I was there to see my son, and he looked concerned. He said something like he didn’t think that would be a good idea. I persisted, and he got more firm. I saw Ryan looking our direction. About then, the people in the room got up and started walking by. I expected to see Ryan walk by, but he wasn’t there, I thought he was avoiding me. This didn’t surprise me, there was a lot of avoidance in our relationship.

I gave up, and asked the person if the door next to me would take me outside. He said it would, and I walked outside. As I walked out the guy said to me “I wish I could believe you, I really do.” Once outside, I was suddenly scared again, and I heard a voice telling me to run. I ran the half block to the car, stepping over a low picket fence, and got my slacks caught in the fence. I reached the car, and woke up.

What stuck with me was the fear more than anything. There are so many ways I could interpret this dream I’m not even going to try. My wife Karen said simply “oh honey, you have so much more grieving to do.” I suppose she’s right.

Hesitate To Post...

2009-10-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

I hate to post anything, it will move Carrie Fisher's picture from my last post further down the page. Damn, she's looking fine.

Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking"

2009-10-22T19:14:00.000-05:00

Carrie Fisher Finishes Our Sentences About Family, Work And That Bikini - Monkey See Blog : NPR.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="250" caption="Carrie Fisher"][/caption]

Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking, her one-woman show based on her book of the same title, is a wry, hilarious, insightful, and occasionally touching theatrical memoir of the woman who grew up as the daughter of celebrity parents (Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher); went on to become a film icon with her role of Princess Leia in the first three Star Wars films; struggled with manic-depression and substance abuse; and had emotionally fraught relationships with Paul Simon, the super-famous musician to whom she was very briefly married, and agent Bryan Lourd, who left her for another man after they had a child together.

I dig Carrie Fisher, always have. I haven't read either of her books, I seem to have developed some kind of a middle age ADD and find it hard to read. But there are a few books I'd really love to read, and hers are at the top of the list.

"So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother."
The Blues Brothers - 1980

Mike Royko son Robert Royko gets 2½ years

2009-10-21T01:02:00.000-05:00

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="425" caption="World-Famous Chicago Journalist Mike Royko"][/caption]I mean no disrespect by this, as I have (had) the highest respect for Mike Royko. But I can only guess how difficult it would be to grow up with him as your father.

Robert Royko, son of legendary newspaper columnist Mike Royko, was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison Tuesday for attempting to rob a bank on Chicago's Northwest Side with a fake bomb in 2005.

"I can't believe to this day that I did this," said Royko, 46, as he apologized to U.S. District Judge Wayne Andersen, who could have sentenced Royko to between 51 and 63 months under federal guidelines.

Royko's defense lawyers argued he struggled with bipolar disorder and was heavily medicated during the incident at the Associated Bank at 6355 N. Central Ave. He was arrested immediately by an off-duty police officer.

via chicagotribune.com.

Arena Show? No Thanks.

2009-10-19T19:23:00.000-05:00

There's nothing more opinionated than a music critic. Well, maybe a beer critic, but that's stretching things. I'm a huge music fan, and a critic, and I'm very opinionated. Here's a favorite topic.

I do not understand the appeal of large arena shows. I do not understand people who shell out several hundred dollars a ticket to see a band who (with a few exceptions), couldn't hold their own on a stage against area talent in a local bar open-mic night. Very few seats in an arena are close enough to actually see any of the musicians without watching the jumbo-trons next to the stage. Hell, if I wanted that, I'd buy the DVD. Or for the amount spent on tickets, several box sets. Can you see who's actually playing lead without looking at the jumbo-tron? Can you see the expressions, the interplay between the musicians? No? WTF is the attraction? It goes back to when concerts were a social gathering. When you could spend less than ten bucks to see the top bands. When you would hang out on the floor, see all your friends, and share a joint with everyone. Today you can spend $250 a ticket, $12 a beer, and $40 (or more) for a t-shirt. Hell, take away their High-Life. And be careful not to step on the person's $600 loafers who's sitting next to you when you get up out of your padded seat to jam with your bimbo date with the boob-job. Don't forget to boo when they don't play your favorite song exactly like they played it on the radio!

The quality of entertainment playing small clubs and festivals is better today then it's been since the early days of rock or jazz. Within the last couple years I have seen performances standing or sitting close enough to touch some of the best musicians the world has to offer today. I have chatted, in a conversational tone, with world-class musicians on stage in small clubs. I have talked to many of these performers in the audience before or after shows. I live in a smaller community (relatively speaking) yet can find such entertainment almost any night.

Stop going to shows just to say you did. Expand your musical horizons and explore artists you may not have heard. It's a much more rewarding experience.

Justice to Stop Pursuit of Medical Marijuana Use - NYTimes.com

2009-10-19T16:50:00.000-05:00

Justice to Stop Pursuit of Medical Marijuana Use - NYTimes.com.

I had to read the headline a few times before it sunk in - the Obama administration is not prosecuting federal medical marijuana offenses where it doesn't break applicable state laws. I think that's great. I wish it would have gone further, but you take what you can get.

Now, to get mental and mood disorders approved for medical marijuana use. But that's the subject of another post.

Mott the Hoople: Hammersmith Apollo, review - Telegraph

2009-10-19T01:28:00.000-05:00

Is there anything more pathetic than a seventies revival show?

Forty years on from their inception, and thirty years since some of the members had actually spoken to each other, Mott stormed back into London for the first of five sold-out nights at the Apollo.

via Mott the Hoople: Hammersmith Apollo, review - Telegraph.

If they have something musically new to say that's a different story. But to shell out big money to hear a bunch of over-the-hill rockers who haven't played together in 40 years is insanity.

Sleep

2009-10-18T12:52:00.000-05:00

I hate to sleep. There's probably several reasons for it, including:

I don't want to waste the time.

There are other things I'd rather do.

It's stressful when I don't fall asleep.

I often require medication to sleep, and sometimes that medication makes me do some very strange things.

I don't want to tackle the new day.

I can get by on very little sleep, I can go for weeks with 3 to 4 hours a night. But I need SOME sleep each night, even if it's only an hour or two. If I go too long with minimal sleep things start happening. For example, I start to see things, shadows at first, then they get more concrete as time goes on. It also impacts certain parts of my brain, for example, my creativity really suffers.

Last night I got over 8 hours, and it made a huge difference in the day. Motivation was good, frame of mind was good, I feel good. My irritation is still high, unfortunately. That scares me.

But the day's keep coming, I can't duck them forever.

See you tomorrow.

It's Back...

2009-10-17T15:16:00.000-05:00

I just had an unpleasant look back into the past. The irritability and anger that has been successfully suppressed for the last several years showed up again tonight. Actually, it's been showing up a little bit here and there recently. It's nowhere close to as bad as it was, I credit a heightened level of self-awareness and a Lamotrigine prescription for that. But it was still scary and disturbing.

Hello Again

2009-10-16T17:22:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time.

As the mania ebbs and flows, I try to find an outlet. No matter what, it all sounds so lame, like someone quoting textbook cliches. But the feelings are real, the emotions, especially guilt, are strong, and the value of a therapeutic outlet is undeniable. I go to support groups, and they can help, but you sit through 2 hours of people who have problems like anthills. Of course, others are saying that about my problems.

Blogging fills several different needs for me. There is the outlet just described. There is the community, no matter how dysfunctional and disjointed it may be, and the feeling of acceptance in that community. There is the feedback or interaction, either validating or ridiculing, either way it shows somebody is paying attention. It is also the creative and technical outlet, the page design and layout, and the pleasure that the execution of good code can bring.

So where am I going with this? Trying to convince myself that I need to start blogging again. I’ll probably start for a while, then drop it again like I’ve done so many times. But maybe I’ll find the motivation to continue with it like I did a couple of years ago. But if it helps me past the rough patch I’m in now, it will be worth it.

Later.

On This Day

2006-11-10T14:29:00.001-06:00

On this day, November 10, 1969, Sesame Street was broadcast for the first time. Most of us Products of the Seventies were not young enough to really be Sesame Street kids, but we all recognize the influence on future generations.

From Wikipedia:

Sesame Street premiered on November 10, 1969. The very first scene was a clay-animated sequence showing two creates forming the words "Sesame Street", followed by the opening theme music. The first regular performer to appear on screen is Gordon (Matt Robinson) who introduces one of his students to his wife, Susan, as well as Bob and Mr. Hooper. Big Bird also appears, though the first puppet-style Muppets to appear on screen were Ernie and Bert.

During this first season, Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch were the only Muppets to regularly appear in Street scenes, while Ernie and Bert and others debuted in separate segments. Big Bird had a much more naïve voice and a smaller head with fewer feathers, and Oscar was a "toxic" orange...

Burger Wars

2006-11-09T08:17:00.001-06:00

"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."

"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset us. All we ask is that you let us have it your way!"

And of course, once the eighties hit, perhaps the most memorable...
"Where's the beef?"

Grievous Angel

2006-11-08T21:58:00.001-06:00

Recently I have rediscovered Gram Parsons. For those not familiar with Gram Parsons, he was a tortured soul who was the driving force behind the country-rock scene that began in the early seventies. From The Byrds to The Flying Burrito Brothers to duets with Emmylou Harris to a solo career, Gram Parsons was an important figure in the evolution of seventies music. He was rumored to suffer from bipolar disorder, which would explain his legendary alcohol and substance abuse issues.

Parson's last album was called Grievous Angel, and was released after his death in 1974. It's a marvelous album, full of hearfelt songs. A very country feel, it was a precursor to the country rock that became so popular in the later seventies. I highly recommend it.

His death is legendary, he died of an overdose in the desert, at a place called Joshua Tree. It was a place he regularly visited, a spiritual oasis for him. After his death his body was stolen by his manager who was fulfilling a promise made to him earlier. Using a borrowed hearse, they drove his body to Joshua Tree and in a drunken festival botched a cremation attempt. Google him up and spend some time reading the history - it's truly fascinating.

Election Day

2006-11-07T20:41:00.001-06:00

This won't turn into a political blog, I promise. But being election day in the US, it brings this to mind.

The final nail in the coffin of the seventies was the election of Ronald Reagan. This is not meant as a commentary of Reagan as president. But the election of Reagan was the beginning of the current age of US conservatism. The mindset of the sixties and seventies was unceremoniously flushed in November of 1980.

It was inevitable, I voted for Reagan as I was ready for a change. I think we were all ready for a change at that time, I just didn't think that change would lead to where we are now.

1974 School Assembly

2006-11-06T11:08:00.001-06:00

It was the fall of 1974, and they herded the entire school into the gym for an assembly. We had a big school, particularly for being in the middle of the US heartland. No freshmen at our school, grades 10 – 12 only. But of those 3 classes we had in the vicinity of 2000 students.

We had no idea why we were being pulled out of class, but anything was better than algebra so we were happy. Kind of. We had to sit through a speech by some southern governor. It held my attention for maybe 5 minutes. At that time, the political process couldn’t have interested me less. Not surprisingly I still remember the girl I was sitting next to, her name was Nancy and she had this exotic Brooklyn accent. But do you think I can remember ANYTHING the speaker said? A few years later I became interested in the political process, was a member of the “young republicans”, and a student volunteer for a few campaigns.

That speaker became President of the United States 2 short years later, beating out Gerald Ford, who was one of the candidates for whom I was volunteering. It was, of course, Jimmy Carter.

I now have a deep respect for President Carter. He wasn’t an effective president, but he is a compassionate person and a brilliant statesman, both are qualities hard to find in today’s politicians.

I wish I had paid attention that day.

Cigarette Machines

2006-11-05T23:21:00.001-06:00

My kids don't believe me. I tell them when I was a kid, you could go anywhere and buy cigarettes from a machine. When I was just starting to fool around with cigarettes in the early seventies, you could buy them out of a machine for about 50 cents a pack. We had a Dairy Queen close to our junior high school and they had a machine, as every place did. When the owner wasn't looking we'd buy them from the machine, always Marlboro box. If he caught us, he'd buy them back, yell a lot, then kick us out.

I still remember those cigarettes, the smell and feel of a new pack, and the swimming head and nausea that went along with them. But I stuck it out, and became hopelessly hooked. Today, after having quit 17 years ago, I still miss them.

The Lost Wedding Ring

2006-10-08T00:16:00.001-05:00

It's a strange story. Don't know if it's ghost related, kid related, or miracle related.

Many years ago - 15 or so - I lost my wedding ring. Just a simple band, nothing fancy. 15 to 20 years pass and I don't often think of it any more. I consider buying another one, but there's always more pressing uses of the money. Over the years I accuse my wife, in a teasing way, that she pawned my ring. She rolls her eyes and ignores me. Kids come and go, possessions come and go, and we even move about 4 years ago. If it was going to turn up, it would have turned up by now.

Yesterday I'm looking for something and open a jewelry box on my dresser. There, laying on top of a pile of silver coins I've collected over the years, was my ring.

The wife thinks it's our ghost. I think one of the kids stumbled across it and put it in there. It doesn't really matter. When I found it, I immediately put it on. Remember it hasn't been on for 15 years, and 15 pounds or so ago. It was difficult to slide on, and will probably never come off. So I won't have to worry about this scenario again...

The Seventies Ghost

2006-08-24T00:08:00.001-05:00

It's the stereotypical seventies house, built in 1970. Large, sprawling split entry in what was a suburb back then. Now, of course, it's mid city. Still has the harvest gold counter tops, the dark woodwork, seventies plumbing. And there's one other thing this house has:

A seventies ghost.

We've owned the house for 3 years now and have heard him from the start, definite and distinct footsteps through the house. My kids have big feet, he sounded just like them. He turns the radio on and off. He opens doors, and sometimes plays a single note on the piano. Finally, my wife sees him. A perfectly clear view of him. Medium height, stocky build, thick blonde hair that's seventies long. Tight white tennis shorts and nothing else. Oh yeah - he had big feet.

A seventies ghost. Why am I not surprised?

Alvis Edgar Owens Jr

2006-04-01T23:57:00.001-06:00

The country music star known as Buck Owens died last week, at the age of 76.

Now many Products of the Seventies will be wondering why they should remember a country hayseed. Buck Owens was HUGE, and any POTS should recognize this.

First, as co-host of the hit show "Hee-Haw" he was one of the most recognized TV celebrities of our age. Everyone claimed not to watch Hee-Haw, but we all did. That's OK, you can admit it now. If you think you never watched, that's just your chemically induced memory loss kicking in.

Next, he was an important force in music. Not just country music, but rock & roll and popular music. He influenced countless of musicians of that era, and had a hit with the song "Act Naturally", that the Beatles also recorded.

"We played rhumbas and tangos and sambas, and we played Bob Wills music, lots of Bob Wills music," he said, referring to the bandleader who was the king of Western swing.

"And lots of rock 'n' roll," he added.

Owens started recording in the mid-1950s, but gained little success until 1963 with "Act Naturally," his first No. 1 single.

There's a giant doing cartwheels a statue wearin' high heels.
Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn.
A dinosaur Victrola list'ning to Buck Owens.
Doo doo doo Lookin' out my back door.

The M-80

2006-03-31T16:11:00.001-06:00

One of my best friends in high school drove a little Datsun. Back then, there were not that many Japanese cars. You'd see some German Opels, and a few British MGs and Triumphs, but very few Japanese cars. For small cars, Vegas and Pintos as far as the eye could see.

One night we were cruising in my buddie's Datsun and he had scored some M-80 firecrackers. Firecracker is misleading, these things were close to dynamite strength. You'd put one in a mailbox, and it would shred the box. And that's exactly what we were doing - putting them in mailboxes. I'm sure our experience was enhanced in some manner, they usually were. Schlitz, Bud, PBR - it could have been any of them. Or it could have been something different...

We were down to our last M-80. We had driven into a field, wondering what we could do for maximum effect. Finally, my buddy said screw it, let's just get rid of it before we get busted. He rolled his window halfway down, lit the M-80 and through it hard at the window. It hit the edge of the window, and bounced back into his lap.

SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT! He yells and bails out of the car brushing off his crotch. I'm still clueless as to what's happening and he's running full blast away from the car. I look down and see the M-80 burning fast, the fuse almost completely burned. I bailed too. I get a few steps away and...

WHOOOOOOOMP! We look, and smoke is rolling out of the car. There was so much smoke we thought the car was toast. Literally. The smoke cleared after a few seconds, and we crept back. My buddy gingerly reached in for the overhead light, and we took a look. A burned spot on the carpet. That was it! We got in, still shaking a little, and drove away. We didn't screw with M-80s again after that. When we wanted to take out mailboxes, we did it the old fashioned way - with a baseball bat.

Any Major Dude Will Tell You

2006-03-29T08:42:00.001-06:00

It fits my mood today.

I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

Steely Dan
Any Major Dude Will Tell You
Pretzel Logic
©1974 MCA Music Publishing, a division of Universal Studios, Inc. (ASCAP).

The Neighborhood Drive In

2006-03-07T12:10:00.001-06:00

What would a seventies blog be without a drive-in movie post?

We had one in our neighborhood, about 8 blocks from home. When we were kids, if we were lucky enough to get out after dark and able to stay out a while, we would walk down there. We had to cross a highway to get there, and if our parents knew we'd get in trouble. But there was a golf course directly behind the theater, and we'd pull a bench from the course up to the back fence, and watch the show.

I had a paper route when I was a teenager, and I'd deliver papers from my Schwinn Orange Crate, and later, from my 10 speed Schwinn Continental. If I got done early, I'd pedal down to the drive-in.

There was a couple of big, mean, brothers my age that cleaned up the drive-in parking lot the morning after shows. You had to get there early to beat them to the lot. But if you did... There were always cans of un-opened beer, partially full bottles of Boones Farm, and all kinds of assorted goodies. It was a teenagers paradise. I'd make a quick swing through, throw the best stuff in my paper sack, and pedal home before the clean-up crew got there. I'd ditch the stash somewhere on the banks of the creek that wound through our neighboorhood park. We'd come back later and pretend we actually liked the stuff.

Later, when we were actually driving, we hit that drive-in with buddies and dates. I saw "Star Wars" for the first time there. Yet another memorable night was spent with a few friends, beer, and other leafy "illicit substances". We watched "Marathon Man". The sound of that dentist's drill was absolutely horrific.

All in all, it was a spot of significant memories for this Product Of The Seventies.

Old Mill Hill

2006-03-07T00:05:00.001-06:00

Building on my last post about Old Mill Hill.

We would scrounge behind service stations (remember those?) for old tires. Every sorry excuse for a service station had a mountain of old tires behind the station. Depending on who was driving, what vehicle they had, and how many people were in the vehicle, we took as many tires as we had room for. We would drive up to the top of Old Mill Hill and wait for cars to come along. When they got about 200 yards away, we'd start the tire rolling. It took great timing, skill, and luck, but we did manage to nail a couple of cars. Funny, looking back we never considered it vandalism or criminal, it was just a way of having fun.

Then once the tires were gone, we had more room in the vehicle. If Jud was along, he had some big ones. He'd go to the back door of the Holiday Inn, and steal an empty beer keg. Then he'd take it back to a liquor store for the keg deposit. We weren't often lacking for beer money...

My 72 Bug

2006-03-06T16:10:00.001-06:00

All through school I drove a 72 bug. Not the one pictured here, but pretty darn close. While I hated that car, it was memorable.

We had a hill in our part of town called "Old Mill Hill". There was a Holiday Inn hotel at the top of the hill. You could drive the road around the hill, or you could gto across country, and climb the greater than 45 degree slope up the side of the hill. Guess what we liked to do in the VW? I'd get started up the hill, and we were pointing so far up you'd think you were going to flip over backwards. The people in the back seat were always terrified. It was a great time. More on Old Mill Hill in future posts. A lot of stories around that.

One time, we were off-roading in another field close to a highway. We had 3 or 4 of us in my VW, along with beer, of course, and we cruised across the wooded field to a big lighted billboard next to the highway. Crazy man Eugene (Geno), climbed that billboard, and stood on the lighted platform in front of the sign. He was mooning all the cars driving by, and they were honking, of course. We finally got him down, and drove back towards the road. As we get close to the road, we saw a vehicle trailing us, but a quarter mile off. We looked hard, and thought we say lights on the top. We floored it, hit the road, made a couple of quick turns, and were home free. A friend in a nearby house saw the whole thing, and confirmed that it was a police car. Yet another escape by the skin of our teeth.

I could tell stories about the VW forever, and probably will. When I got into college, they used to kid me about having 7 back seats in that car. But that's another topic...

Walk The Line

2006-03-06T15:59:00.001-06:00

Watched "Walk The Line" last night, the movie about Johnny Cash. I was a little surprised. It was good, but not as good as I expected it to be. And it was much more critical of him than I imagined it would be. It also had a very unsatisfying ending. The characters were not developed well enough, Johnny and June were, but that's about it. The music was OK, but didn't show much of the stories behind the songs.

Overall, I give it 3, maybe 3.5 out of 5. Fair to good, but not great.

Peter Benchley Dies

2006-03-05T22:46:00.001-06:00

Peter Benchley, Author of 'Jaws,' Dies at 65

Peter Benchley, whose 1974 novel "Jaws" turned shark attacks into a national obsession and who later used what he called his "fish story" to help promote oceanic conservation, died yesterday morning at his home in Princeton, N.J. He was 65.

The cause was pulmonary fibrosis, a progressive scarring of the lungs, said his wife, Wendy.

In Honor Of Oscar Night

2006-03-05T22:10:00.001-06:00

The Top Ten box-office movies of the Seventies were, in order:

1. Star Wars (1977)
2. Jaws (1975)
3. The Godfather (1972)
4. Grease (1978)
5. Superman (1979)
6. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
7. Saturday Night Fever (1977)
8. The Sting (1973)
9. The Exorcist (1973)
10. National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

I don't understand why "Logan's Run" didn't make the list...

Here is a cool site with this information: http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/70/70movies.htm

Anybody Out There?

2006-03-04T09:51:00.001-06:00

Whew. 5 months without an update. "Anyone left out there?" There was a recent comment left by Rudy from Australia that motivated me to pick up this blog again. I maintain several other blogs, but I do enjoy this one.

So watch again for (semi) regular updates.

For what it's worth...

Indispensible Seventies Music - Part 1

2005-10-24T13:04:00.001-05:00

I've said numerous times in past posts that us POTS should be very careful not to get caught in the past, musically speaking. A regular feature here is newer music that POTS would enjoy. And there is a LOT of EXCELLENT music out there to be explored and enjoyed.

But I also don't want to leave the music of the seventies completely behind. There was some INCREDIBLY good music that came from that generation. With this regular feature I will attempt to list MY favorites. Not VH1's, or Rolling Stone's, or any other columnist's favorite. The favorites of a regular guy, Jon, born and raised in Heartland, USA.

Steely Dan's Aja.

One of the most unique albums of the decade by one of the most unique "bands" of the decade. How do you even begin to describe The 'Dan?

Steely Dan is 2 people - Donald Fagen and Walter Becker. After the 2 constants comes a long line of some the the world's best musicians from the world of pop, rock, and jazz. Steely Dan is NOT about live performances, although they have and do tour from time to time. Steely Dan is about complex melodies and changes, biting lyrics, and musical perfection. All wrapped up in a pop package. How they became a pop fixture is beyond me, but it all works. I'm going purely by memory here, but through the seventies, they released 7 albums, every one a true classic. I believe Aja was their last album of the seventies. The eighties brought more good music, by Steely Dan and Fagen solo, but that's a different post.

Aja was something completely different in the pop world.

In the mid to late seventies pop music had been moving a different direction. The hard rock of the early seventies was not as prevalent. Jazz was becoming a force on popular music, as the fusion movement gained momentum. Several bands, such as the Doobie Brothers, moved to a lighter, jazzier sound. Personally, I didn’t care as much for the Doobie’s later work, but it was successful for them. Aja captured that sound without losing The ‘Dan’s edginess. Pretty incredible, when you think about it. It included the pop hooks Steely Dan is famous for - “They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, call me Deacon Blues”, but also included lyrics such as “Spanish kissin', See it glisten, You came ragin', Love rampagin', I got the news…” from the little known classic “I Got The News”.

But out of all the incredible Steely Dan tunes over the years, the title song Aja is maybe the best. It opens with a beautiful piano, light and airy. The drummer, light on the cymbals, catches your attention, and the bass, showing classic Dan restrained bass work is melodic. The tempo speeds up, slows down, speeds up, and the chord changes would challenge an experienced classical musician. A xylophone (?) shows up, and even a police whistle. The guitar, weaving it’s way through the complicated melody is incredible. Into the mix jumps a raucous saxophone while the drummer picks up his presence to complement the intrusion. It slows down to reprise the opening melody again, and prepare for the finish. I slows to nothing, then a drum solo kicks in, and an incredible solo it is. Steve Gadd is the drummer, a well known fusion studio musician. If you’re looking for a John Bonham drum solo this ain’t it. It’s subtle, laid back, and kicks ass. And rumor has it that Steve Gadd's drum work on Aja is the ONLY track ever laid down in a Steely Dan recording session that was done in a single take.

Steely Dan is a lot like Scotch Whiskey. It’s an acquired taste, one that doesn’t appeal to everyone. It takes some getting used to, and when you start to develop a taste for it you can spend a lifetime exploring the nuances.

Leon Spinks

2005-10-09T10:14:00.001-05:00

I have your attention, don't I?

Sports fan or not, who could forget Leon Spinks? He beat Muhammad Ali in 1978 for the championship. He smiled his way into America's heart.

Today he smiles his way into the hearts of residents of a small town in Nebraska. He lives in Columbus, Nebraska and cleans the YMCA several days a week. He also does a lot with the kids in that town.

Here's an article done by the Lincoln (NE) Journal Star. Very well done, and The Champ sounds like he's happy and doing well.

Ex-champ Leon Spinks cleans up in Columbus

Music for Products of the Seventies - Part 4

2005-10-09T09:02:00.001-05:00

The Eels are a very unique band. They have done everthing from music too vulgar to be played on the radio to songs featured in Disney movies.

A recommended album is Daisies of the Galaxy, released in 2000. While their lyrics are sometimes dark, their music is almost always uplifting, and sometimes downright ditty-like "...cause I like (dit-dit-dit): birds"...

Below is one of my favorites. There is an obvious link for POTS, click the picture above and click the "Indian in Canoe" link to view the original commercial. Beware the lyrics, they might offend some:

The smokestack is spitting black soot into the sunny sky
The load on the road brings a tear to the indian’s eye
The elephant won’t forget what it’s like inside his cage
The ringmaster’s telecaster sings on an empty stage

God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah
God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah

The girl with the curls and the sweet big ribbon in her hair
She’s crawled out the window ’cause her daddy just don’t care
(come on!)

God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah
God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah

The clown with the frown driving down to the sidewalk fair
Finger on the trigger I tell you he is quite a scare

God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah
God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah

The kids fit their lids when their heads hear that crazy sound
Their neighbour digs the flavour still he’s moving to another town
(and I don’t believe he’ll come back)

God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah
God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah

And I don’t know how you’re taking all the shit you see
You don’t believe anyone but most of all openly agree

God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah
God damn right it’s a beautiful day ahah