The M-80

One of my best friends in high school drove a little Datsun. Back then, there were not that many Japanese cars. You'd see some German Opels, and a few British MGs and Triumphs, but very few Japanese cars. For small cars, Vegas and Pintos as far as the eye could see.

One night we were cruising in my buddie's Datsun and he had scored some M-80 firecrackers. Firecracker is misleading, these things were close to dynamite strength. You'd put one in a mailbox, and it would shred the box. And that's exactly what we were doing - putting them in mailboxes. I'm sure our experience was enhanced in some manner, they usually were. Schlitz, Bud, PBR - it could have been any of them. Or it could have been something different...

We were down to our last M-80. We had driven into a field, wondering what we could do for maximum effect. Finally, my buddy said screw it, let's just get rid of it before we get busted. He rolled his window halfway down, lit the M-80 and through it hard at the window. It hit the edge of the window, and bounced back into his lap.

SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT! He yells and bails out of the car brushing off his crotch. I'm still clueless as to what's happening and he's running full blast away from the car. I look down and see the M-80 burning fast, the fuse almost completely burned. I bailed too. I get a few steps away and...

WHOOOOOOOMP! We look, and smoke is rolling out of the car. There was so much smoke we thought the car was toast. Literally. The smoke cleared after a few seconds, and we crept back. My buddy gingerly reached in for the overhead light, and we took a look. A burned spot on the carpet. That was it! We got in, still shaking a little, and drove away. We didn't screw with M-80s again after that. When we wanted to take out mailboxes, we did it the old fashioned way - with a baseball bat.