Smoking

The last few weeks have been difficult.  The stress from work, combined with health issues loved ones are facing, have pushed me over the edge.


Last week I bought a pack of cigarettes.  My first since 1989.  I was climbing walls, and caved to the crave.  Since quitting, I've missed  cigarettes non-stop.  I lit that first smoke last week and it was heaven - there's not a drug in that world that could have equalled that.  Since then I've smoked 3 or 4 a day, and loved every single puff of every one.  My hands have been shaking lately, but after a cigarette I'm steady as a rock.  I hope this doesn't become a habit, but I sure love it right now.